Personal Revelation Pt. 2: The Story

To start out, I think I'm just going to give a basic outline of the story without a whole lot of details. After I show the basic story, I'm gonna go back through and pick specific instances where I learned, grew, or anywhere I can point out the doctrines of the Gospel. Those will be followed up on in further posts. But today is going to be the fast version of the story. So stay tuned! Here it is:

When I was a junior in high school, I first got interested in going to the United States Naval Academy when I got an email for a summer program called Summer Seminar. I had gotten lots of letters from different universities to come to their summer programs and I knew that I wanted to go to one of them. The one at USNA was the cheapest.

So I went.

I had fun, I liked it, and I kept the option in mind when it came time to start applying to colleges for real. I was very interested in being in the military, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to a service academy or if I just wanted to go through the ROTC program at a civilian school. After weighing out all my options, I came up with two choices of where to go: 1) USNA and 2) University of Utah, NROTC Nursing Option.

I applied to both. I got into both. I was very divided on the subject and I felt very confused. They were both good options, they both had their pros and their cons, and I really couldn't decide which choice to make. I struggled with it for quite some time. My mother reminded me that a decision like this would definitely need to be prayed over (thanks, Mom, for always giving great advice!).

So I started to pray over the question. Rather, I started to say prayers. I say that I was saying prayers, because honestly, I'm not sure if I had ever really prayed for an answer to anything up until that point and I didn't really know how to do it. I just couldn't seem to find my answer. I didn't really feel anything when I was praying.

A little shaken by that, I took the question to my bishop. I set up an interview and laid out the situation to him, asking him for advice on what I should do. I asked him if it even mattered to the Lord where I went, or if He just wanted me to be a good boy and keep the commandments regardless of the school I attended. I asked him if my answer was that I could choose. Bishop Elsbury looked at me and told me, "That is a answer...." and he stopped for a few seconds. Then he said, "But that is not your answer. I don't know what your answer is, but I know that the Lord has something specific in mind for you, and that He wants you to wrestle Him for it."

That statement struck my heart and I think at that moment I finally understood that I really needed to pray seriously. One Saturday morning, I decided to really put in the effort to find my answer.

I took with me all the pamphlets, brochures, books, emails, letters, etc. that I had received from both colleges and my scriptures into my bedroom and closed the door. I was alone. It was just me and God. And we wrestled. 

I prayed. I read the scriptures. I prayed. I reviewed the letters, pamphlets, etc. I prayed. I made a pro/con list. I prayed. I reviewed the materials again. I prayed. I pondered. I prayed. I weighed the options in my mind. I prayed. I prayed. I prayed.

Hours later, at a point where my spirit literally felt exhausted and the edge of my bed was soaked in tears, I received my answer. It was not a voice, nor was it a sign or a vision. It was nothing more than a feeling. But it was a feeling that penetrated my soul and left me with a SURE answer to my question. I can't explain the feeling, but I know that I received it. And these were the words that I felt, "I need to go to the Naval Academy for the purpose of missionary work."

I was filled with joy and the Spirit, and I knew that I had finally found my answer. I poured out my soul in gratitude for the following hour and just let the feeling rest on me, soaking in the Spirit that I had felt. It was a pivotal moment in my life, an experience I will never forget.

Now, in the following posts, I will explain what I learned about personal revelation from this experience. But I want to bear my testimony that Heavenly Father does answer prayers. He talks to His children. I know because I have talked to Him; not face to face, but spirit to Spirit. And the witness from the Holy Ghost that I received is stronger than I could have receive by sight. He lives. He loves us. And He listens to us.